just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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