Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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