pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
