We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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