Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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