he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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