yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
