East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
