You're my little dorito
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
