Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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