I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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