pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
