He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
