do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
