I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
