He is an equal opportunity slut.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
