Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
