I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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