We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
