If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
