Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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