every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
