Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
