this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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