There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
