do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Randomize
