Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
