Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
My breasts were aching with rage.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
