Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
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