It's like God shit irony all over that family
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
