dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
