I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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