Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
