I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
