I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Randomize
