My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
