Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
