At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
