He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
