Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
