Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
