He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
