am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
