i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
i believe in u and ur pee
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
