That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
