i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
