he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
