cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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