yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
