First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
